I started The Love Dare as a last chance effort to save my marriage. My husband has recently told me that he is not happy in our marriage after fourteen years (our anniversary is next week). He tells me that he can't decide whether or not to leave and since April my life has been in limbo while he tries to make this decision. I have been faithful to turning it all over to God and praying constantly for my husband and my marriage. I just refuse to believe that God will allow our marriage to fall apart. I feel beyond a shadow of a doubt that God chose us to be together. I am placing all of my hope in this.
My situation is so strange. My husband seems to be going through a midlife crisis (he is 39). He still loves me and we are on the surface acting as normal as could be. We really don't fight and we generally enjoy being together with our two children. I just can't understand why he wants to leave. I do know that he has become addicted to Facebook over this past year. He loves the attention that that community brings. He is a big jokester and gets lots of attention on that site. He has recently started adding young (twenties) females that he has never met to his friends list of Facebook. Of course this bothers me terribly. These women are beautiful! I just can't understand why he feels like this attention is so necessary. i do everything I can to show him the attention he needs at home. I really believe that he is going through depression. He is on medicine for it, but I firmly believe that it is either not working or needs to be upped. So far he has refused to go to the doctor to take care of this. Last week I told him that I needed a decision from him (as far as whether he was staying or leaving) ASAP. I just can't keep living in limbo like this. He went away for the weekend with another male friend to try and clear his head. He came back Sunday and there has been no mention of this issue since. My plan is to keep doing the dare and not bring up needing a decision until I finish the book. I hope that in the meantime God will provide the salvation for my marriage.
I am on Day 12 and I am doing this book secretly, like in the movie. Last night we were without children and had such a wonderful night spending time together. I am hoping and praying that God is working on me and through me to save my marriage. He actually mentioned some things that we have coming up in the future and spoke as if he was planning on being here for those things. I went along with the conversation, never pressing him for a decision. I am so hoping that God will work through this book to save my marriage! It is so hard! Just like in the movie, I feel like he doesn't deserve many of the things I do in this dare. But, I love him unconditionally and even if he doesn't deserve it right now, i am going to love him and show him i love him anyway! Please pray for my marriage! I pray that these small things I am seeing and experiencing with my husband are signs that God is working on him and working things out for us!
First we all start the dare for selfish reasons. To save a marriage. But what we learn during the process is that it is a journey between us and Christ. And that we have controlled the situation all these years and at best we messed it up. This journey will lead you to seeing that we cannot do it alone. We need Christ involved in our lives, not just in our marriage.
This is where it gets tough. We need to TRUST him completely. We need to turn the control over to Christ. Remember we have a jealous God. And when we put anything before him (including our spouse) that is not good. And during this journey we must trust him to the point that we do not interfere with his work. And you not pushing the subject is great. Because if you did, it would be you trying to control the situation and not trusting Christ.
I have written a few journals that I have learned a number of people have gotten a lot out of. Please feel free reading them. And if I may, if you have not read the entire appendix in the dare, please do so today.
Our prayers are with you. And I am sure things will get better if you stay on your journey.