Collaborate without boundaries

Day 11 and he has no clue

Day 11 and he has no clue

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  • Hi all. My husband and I are 25, married for 2 years. I would say that things are good for us, but certainly could be better. My biggest issue is an overall lack of respect that we have for each other. We are not as kind and polite to each other as we should be. I started doing this dare along with a friend whose marriage is crumbling. I thought it would be easy and I would just go through the motions with her.

    Now on day 11, I still don't think my husband has noticed anything I have done. I'm okay with that and will continue to do the dares. What is bothering me now, is that I am hyper aware of everything my husband goes that the book says a good spouse should not. I want up show him the book and say, look you are being mean, disrespectful, unkind, unloving, impatient, etc. but that is all if the "depreciation room" stuff I'm not supposed to think of anyway. I feel like I'm wasting my time going these dares and that it would benefit us both the most for him to take the dares. But that makes me selfish.

    So what gives? Am I just bring a selfish *** and making myself a martyr? An I right to want to stand up for myself and point out my husbands flaws so I can be happy to? At what point will each chapter stop making me feel like a doormat? Like I'm the only one who is wrong? Like done 1950s housewife?

    i feel worse about our marriage and myself since starting this book! Help please!

  • In all  honesty... You are being selfish. I am sure if he was in your position he could come up with things as well. But here is the way to do these dares in a way that you would understand more.

    Go get the movie Fireproof. Watch it alone. No interruptions. No phone etc...

    After that. Take time to read the appendix. Especially the section on leading the heart. And then start the dares from the beginning.

    What you are experiencing now is you going through the dares but not with Christ. This journey is between you and Christ, not you and your husband. You are trying to make it that way. That is why you are having expectations.

    You husband will be a tool that Christ will use in this journey.

    Christ is working on you right now. Take heed to that and do it for Him. Also, the journal section has more daily interactions. You may want to post there.

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