My daughter was really sick last night so I had very little sleep. Each time I dozed off and awakened, I felt compelled to pray for Melanie. I read Day 11, prayed, studied, sought direction for the dare. Around 8:45, I texted Melanie telling her to have a great Saturday. I still had considered a gift card to an ice cream shop for her and the kids a restaurant, but I'm short on money this week since I am still maintaining her insurance and cell phone. Speaking of insurance, our vision provider was sending me a $40 check regarding her $78 bill that had been misfiled. I then remembered that I told her the day we split (again just to hurt her), that I was canceling her benefits. I decided to tell her that I would mail the check directly to the doctor unless she said otherwise and that her benefits would remain if effect if should see a doctor.
No response, but that's OK. I felt a little odd about telling her about the insurance stuff because I was worried that it might appear that selfish.. or that my motivations were selfish. I prayed about it. I prayed that she would see God's grace and not my actions.
Pray about it. If you are thinking it may be selfish, there may be reason of concern. What may come off to you one way may be something she takes as a manipulation.
I think days like yesterday are days when trusting God is really important. I re-read the Day 11 dare and also the verses that make up the basis for the dare.
"Husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies". – Ephesians 5:28
I prayed about this. I asked God to reveal to me my selfish motives and forgive me for them. I made a list of ways that I thought I had been a good husband and most were rooted in selfishness. But through prayer and study, I was reminded that I love my body enough to provide health insurance for myself, I should love my wife, regardless of the current circumstances, just as much. Now as to whether or not I should have mentioned it to her, that's a bit different. But think about this, if I pay a bill she has forgotten about or that comes to my house, she doesn't necessarily have to know it was paid to be benefitted by it. However, if she thinks I canceled her insurance, she won't use it, therefore possibly neglecting a health issue or adding financial stress. I asked God to use this as a blessing to her regardless of my initial motivations.
My point is (I think), we are not perfect. The enemy is cunning and sometimes we falter and allow him to mislead us. If we are walking in Christ, even on those bad days, God can use it for His good.
Romans 8:28 - "All things work together for good to them that love God and to them called according to His purpose."
Also, look into it even further. Take the kindness test. How many acts of kindness did you do that were actually rooted in selfishness. Not only with her buy others. Remember there are 4 requirements to a kind act. Not all need to be met to be a kind act but really think about it.