I will not see my husband today as he is working with the military in the evenings on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Initially I wanted to give him a neck or foot rub since he moves furniture all day, but since he is not coming over and I want to do these dares now without stalling I sent him a text and asked if I could pick up anything for him since I know he will be busy working all day.. he said no thanks though.
We talked last night and he said the best way for him to start wanting to come home and missing everything is to just spend time as a family in our home and to laugh and enjoy eachother and see how things go. He said he does miss things and it kills him not seeing the baby the way he should and that he does miss things about us too. He said he misses his home and hates sleeping on his parents couch but he hated it here with me being the way I was more. He said if he can't stand missing everything anymore he will come home but he said he doesn't feel that will happen right now, although he did say that he believes if he were to come home that things would be different. I said how hard I have been trying and he said that I give up every 2 days and break down, and I said because I get discouraged and lose hope that it's not making a difference, he said well maybe if you didn't give up every few days it would.. which is true I give up easily and feel weak and cry to him then we argue and don't speak for a few days, if I gave it time I may not still be in this mess almost a month later! He also said doing this for him will show him something because I never did anything for him before without wanting something in return.... I did want to move out and take the baby and not let him see him until he got visitation rights but he told me that would never get him home, obviously, so by not doing that and letting him come over is something he wants that I said I would do for him. Oh and he also said how I want everything right now to change and be okay and that's not how it works which is also true.
This is just all so hard... It is going to be so hard to smile and make nice with him everyday continuously without breaking down when that is all I want to do. Any suggestions on how to keep strong and not break down every few days? I also wonder if I should be doing this whole dare thing from scratch since I have only gotten to dare 11 within almost a whole month? Should I start over or keep going? 29 more dares to go if not!
Prayer. That is the best way to comfort, strength, and guidance.
AS for starting over. It may not hurt. But if you do. You really need to dwell on the outlines of the dares. Not just the dares themselves. Remember this is a journey with you and Christ. Not you and your husband. And when you can trust Christ to help you overcome the feelings and desires of the flesh, His love will be in you and that love will be shared like you never dreamed possible.
And prayer..... You really need this. Again, in the appendix is some great guidance.
the key is strength and ask to give you faith and strenght. being endurance by strentgh and it will lead to postive thinking and feeling. i was like that and it is not worth doing that. focus on STRENGTH and FAITH. ask the Universe before you go bed to renew and recharged every morning with streghth. if you have kids, dont you want them to be strong as well to face dilemmas and challenges? good luck