I was trying to do this dare without telling DH about it. The other day when I asked him about 3 things that make him uncomfortable about me he asked why so I told him the truth. He has doubts that I can finish these 40 days so I'm going to prove him wrong now. Not out of spite or anger, just to show him a new side of me.
My problem now that he knows I'm trying to do these dares is that in his eyes my gestures aren't big or good enough. I do a lot for him already that I think he doesn't realize so doing nice things for him on top of that he says seems un-genuine. I'm doing things like buying him small thoughtful gifts or showing real actions towards him that are new, nice and thoughtful I thought anyways. But it's coming off as not good enough in his eyes and I don't know how to remedy that.
I'm really trying hard and doing these things from my heart. I know the dare doesn't "work" over night or right away and that it will make a dent in the negatives in our relationship in its own time. We haven't really fought since I've started the dare. The one time we did get in an argument I held my tongue and only stayed positive which seemed to help diffuse the situation. I just don't know how to do these things "better" than I am doing. If it doesn't seem good enough for him then why am I trying so hard??
At least this dare really knocked me in the head and hit the point home. Today I "get it" and feel that I will really be doing these gestures out of love and unselfishness. I have never expected anything in return but I did hope to get noticed at least. I just feel like I've been noticed in a negative way. I'm ready to let that feeling go and just continue to do the dares regardless of the feedback or lack there of that I get. Any responses will be welcomed. I feel like I just need a little encouragement, even if it's not from DH.
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Just like the results from these dares, the responses may not come immediately...just be patient. Keep your head up. Know that you are doing these to get closer to Lord, and He will reward you. One other thing. No matter how much DH tells you he doesn't notice...he's noticing. He's likely to be skeptical right now. Consistency is vital. Luke 6:30-35 helps me, it may help you! You can do it!
Marvin
hang in there my wife is starting to notice the little things that I felt she wasn't and even starting to praise and thank me for the gestures I;m doing for her so hang on. I layed it all at the foot of the lord and started trusting in him and my fears have started to calm and my nerves are calm again.
Thanks to both of you for your encouraging posts!