It seems you would rather do something to give yourself a back up... But to be honest what this dare is trying to show you is even the things you do not want to do can be done with joy and love if you are leading you heart.
And the comment how much YOU are spending on him... This goes to show that you do not have true oneness on your mind, because oneness there is no separation of things even finances.
The good thing about this dare is that a blessing has come out of it. Even thigh you are not sure Christ has showed you something. Pray for that wisdom to understand...
Sean you are right, I do not have oness in my mind because in reality, I do not feel one with him.
All I have seen is that I am still in self preservation mode.... also selfish.
That will change. You continue, just be open to what Chirsts lays on your heart.