Collaborate without boundaries

Re: Decision.


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  • For today's dare, I have committed to reading about a side business  for which my husband has been sort of consumed with the idea. I have pretty much ignored him in the past, as I was stretched thin supporting all of us (my kids and his) while he paid few bills, plus he was never around already due to other hobbies and jobs, leaving me with his kid's who act horribly and I was not allowed to disciplibe.

    I am going to learn about this so I can show I understand his interest and talk with him about it seriously when God opens his heart to talk to me. I pray every day for my husband and for God to call him back to Him. The hard part is that what my husband expects of me is largely to tolerate the sin of himself and his kids...often against me and my kids....

  • It does become tough when the spouse expects you to tolerate their actions as well as little or no support when it comes to the kids.  But, you can not change him.  So, leave those frustrations at the foot of the cross and ask God to handle those burdens.  

    And you continue to be patient and kind while doing the dares.

  • You are awesome. I appreciate your love and patience for those of us who are also in marital issues.

    I praise God that he is using this issue to make me more like Jesus. I hope in the end I can also end up helping my husband, as he was a pastor previously, and I know he has a God size hole in his life

  • As he acts up and also allows the kids to do the same, it is just his way of justifying to himself he is making the right decisions.  And it can also be a way for him to try to break you, to prove this new and improved you is just a temporary change to trick him into caving in.  So, you need to be as consistent in your testimony as you can.  

    You are right, God will use this trial to mold you more like Jesus.  And He will use the dares and your husband to bring you to love and forgive as Christ does for us.

    And also like you said, help your husband later.  Other than praying for God's will to be done in his life and  continuing to be a witness to Christ by you being kind and patient, including biting your tongue, it isn't the time to help him.  He is not open to it and doing more than a dare a day will push him further away.  Space is what he will want.  (And extra space is not what your flesh wants..  So, look to Christ first for comfort, and it helps to visualize putting Christ way above your husband, not loving your husband less.)

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