Welcome back! That was a really sweet gesture you did for your husband.
Something you said reminded me of a quote (I am all about inspirational quotes). You said the bigger part of you wants what you had and more. I always thought that too - I want what we once had...and of course more. As I have progressed through this journey I realized, I don't want what we once had though it seems a heck of a lot better than the storms I've been going through and still have to go through, BUT what we once had is what got us/me to where I am now. So the quote I was referring to - "The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was and the present worse than it is." That way of thinking often got me stuck wishing about the past being my future, but not anymore. Thank God for that! I see you are well on your way to that frame of thinking too.
Through this journey. When you do reconcile, if it is every the way it was before you will know there is a problem!
Well I guess what i want is for us to be like we were in the beginning. love birds... lol.. of course i don't want problems, but i know they will still be there. I just pray that if we do reconcile that we will handle the problems better than we have before.
Even then... Being love birds was without the love Christ has and will bless you with. It is like nothing you could imagine. Just wait and see....