I did not complete this dare not as it was intended. I did get him some soup to eat this morning. How could I when I feel no joy or love? Of course I am not leading my heart .....I'm following my heart which leads me to misery, suffering, anguish, torment just plain hell. This all makes me feel hopeless. I'm struggling with the intrusive thoughts and images of their affair. It takes every fiber in my being to fight them. Today the other woman texted me to say again how sorry she was falling in love with my husband and hurting me. I don't know what to think about that. I don't trust it completely. What she did was horrible. What my husband did was horrible. I told her I accepted and appreciated her apology. I told her I pray GOD gives her what she needs and happiness. I shared this with my husband because I wanted to be honest and all I get from him is "oh didn't I tell you she would apologize?" that infuriated me BUT then he scoffs at what I said about praying for her. It was so insulting and I am so UPSET he would question my sincerity about praying for this woman. I pray for her every night because it helps me release my anger and forgive her. I am so upset right now BUT I will not allow him to deter me from this journey. I was brought here for a reason. I long to become closer to GOD and be the child of GOD he intended me to be. I will continue to pray harder for GOD's will in my life and my husband's life and for the wisdom to understand it and accept it.
I pray GOD will help me to have the willingness to forgive because I know my life depends on it.
"It takes every fiber in my being to fight them. " <--- That is why you are having so much trouble each day.
You are fighting them. YOU MUST COMMIT THEM TO CHRIST.
Pray that the Lord take them and comfort you to go about your day. When those feelings come, go back to prayer.
Thanks Sean. I gave everything over to GOD right away as they came up. It was indeed a blessed day.
Dont forget the praise!!!