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Re: Unconditional Love, Divorce or Separation?

Unconditional Love, Divorce or Separation?

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  • Now this dare its good timing - seems like my unconditional love and trust in Jesus will be tested.   I'm prepared (been on this walk with Christ for a while now and I trust him). 

     So the good news is my spouse has changed her thinking about the OM.  No longer her lost soul mate and she says she has no plans with him or other men right now, I praise god for that!  But she still wants to divorce and feels its time to tell the children (ages 7, 11, 13) that we are going to separate.  I thought it would be better to wait until we actually divorce or separate but she thinks it would be better for them to start to adjust.


    I am still standing against a divorce but my spouse sees no other option.  My wife is worried that if she separates I will try to get the kids on abandonment (her lawyers advice was not to separate - divorce).  I cant believe that my wife would think I would do that - I would of thought that standing by her through all of this would have been an indication that I would never do that or try to turn the kids against her.  She asked me to put something in writing that I would agree to joint custody if she gets an apartment and I agree to split time with her between home and apartment.  Her plan whether we are divorced or separated is to keep house, so impact on kids is lessened, have joint custody, and split our time at home with them.  So should I agree to separation to keep her from filing divorce?  God hates divorce, right.  But is agreeing to separate manipulative/wrong and just potentially putting of the divorce?  What god has joined let no man separate.


    Really torn on this one - can see both sides.  I want to do right in gods eyes.  Am I being stubborn/selfish by not agreeing to split time at home until a judge tells me I have to, or is this an opportunity to let her go... and show her unconditional love and my trust in god.

  • You can do this in a way that is pleasing to God.

    Let her do all the work. Let her serve the seperation papers etc... Dont you do it.

    I remember telling my wife. "For some reason, even though I have every right to file for divorce, for some reason Christ is telling me to BE STILL... And not put you away. But I will sign the papers the day the are in my hands."

    So she went and got an attorney... Long story short, we are still together today and better than our wedding day.

    You can never be stubborn by doing what you think is right in Gods eyes. And where do you feel God is leading you.... How much prayer have you committed to it?

  • Sean Thank you for the hope, Im facing divorce and Im devastated right now.  My wife has everyright to divorce me but Im trying the love dare right now Im on 11 and wow it is true it is more for me than her

  • It helps to be active here, to receive guidance from others.

  • Hello I'm new here don't know if this is in the rite. place or not my. story is this i move out of our house on march 18. i know that was the wron thing to do. but i did it because i didn't want to agrue in front of the kiids anymore. I am the trason for this becsuse i haven't been hostey to my wife .i haven't cheated on her or anything *** that i have started. the love dare I'm on day 5 love is not rude i ask her to list three things. that make her uncomfortable or irritated at me she u don't won't do go that with. me right now she. list. them i said thank you . While i been doing this love. dste iit has open up my eyrs. i know this is a jornery between me and the lord

  • Welcome... You realize that this is between you and Christ. Great. Now realize that these dares are for you to trust Christ and do them as they are intended without any manipulation from what you think her response will be.

    Take some time to read in the appendix especially the section on leading the heart,

  • Hi Sean, I know this post was from a few years ago.  I am just now starting my journey and on day 10.  We are currently separated and I am finding the dares to be difficult and discouraging.  

    I am praying to our Lord to guide me and allow me to follow His Will.  It just seems so very difficult.  We also just lost his father 2 days ago.  My husband is from Mexico and I wanted to run to be at his side.  He however did not want me there.  I feel as if I am breaking at times.  I must not allow it to consume me.

  • remember, this is a journey, one between you and Christ, not you and your husband.  He will be used as a tool to mold you.  Do a dare a day, no more, no less.  Do the dares as intended, without manipulating them to make them easier.  do not read ahead except the appendix, especially about leading the heart.

    It often gets worse before it gets better, but that serves purpose.  

    don't worry about his negative reactions to you doing the dares or if he ignores you.  Do not look for any responses from him for now.

    He has to right now show he does not want you there to try to justify in his mind the way he is acting.  Take none of that personally, such as him acting like he doesn't want you there.

    Welcome.  Next time you post try posting under the Love Dare journal section.  It is under the community tab.  If you can't find that section, come back to this section.  t's just easier to respond in that section and more people will read and possibly try to help you in that section.

  • Sean how did you succeed in this and how did you make your marriage stronger than ever?

  • Collin, Sean hasn't been on this site for some time now.  Have you tried journaling in The Love Dare Journal section?  that tab is found by clicking on the community tab.  

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