I thought long and hard about this task (as I do pretty much every dare)... it was a little hard for me, becasue normally I wouldn't hesitate to fix my hubby some chicken parm & pasta- it's his all time fave. However, my husband has recently started a diet/exercise routine & he wouldn't be able to eat any of that! So, plan B was butternut squash soup- one of recently favorite dishes. I had to adjust the recipe a bit to fit his dietary needs but I also had to keep my 3 kids in mind (picky eaters). So I ended up making 2 batches to satisfy everyone. My husband came home and I greeted him cheerfully, he mumbled something along the lines of hi & moved onto the kids. The kids and I sat down to eat while he changed... well he took so long they were all finished before he came to the table. But he sat down and ate... I asked him if it tasted OK since I had to change it around & he said it was good. so YAY!
Though I think things might be S_L_O_W_L_Y getting better...I have come to see just how the constant rejection can easily make someone want to quit. I have been doing more than just cooking his favorite meals- I have come to see how things I hate doing (like ironing his clothes) can do wonders. Though he never says anything about the things I do (not that I expect him to), I feel like it has him thinking about why I would be doing them. I can't help but think that he is very skeptical still, since I have tried the "nice" aproach with him before but after growing impatient quickly, I blew up on him. It has been a while since then, but I can see why he would be questioning my motives. On the other hand- I got a weak 'bye' from him this morning when he left for work & even a 'hi' after he got home... it's big progress to me since he went to ignoring me almost imediately after I started the dares.
My past approaches with my husband were to ignore him, not prepare meals for him, not do anything for him- just take care of me and the kids & leave him to take care of himself. Though this approach got his attention fast, it never felt natural to me & I HATED it. I knew that there had to be a better approach than to become exactly the opposite of who I am. SO I began the dares & I have been so grateful for them. I give him his space, but I make sure he sees I love him. It's a delicate balancing act... but I am learning.
My faith & trust in the Lord are deep. I have been on this on & off journey with my husband for nearly a year & I am tired of worrying about him or us & I know that, though I've been praying and I know God has been helping, I must truly trust in God. Saying so is waaaay different than acctually letting him take control. SO I am at ease- and anytime I get a pain from rejection, I remember how many times I had rejected God in my life & He still had the faith in me to love me. I pray that I am blessed with the same courage & unconditional love- to love without the expectation of getting back. I am so thankful for my husband & my 3 beautiful children. I have an amazing life & it's about time I show EVERYONE I love just how much I love them.
I feel our recent financial situation has a lot to do with my husbands 'loss of love' for me since that's when he said he began feeling this way. I know he is depressed & I understand that is where his anger stems from...I understand that he anger is not necessarily at me, but I am the easiest person to take it out on & maybe even understand it. I feel like my purpose is to help him through these feelings indirectly- becasue my direct approach has only sent him packing or pushed him farther away.
I try to remember that rejection is just a stepping stone to our ultimate goal- wherever God's will leads us. It is hard, but nothing worth fighting for is ever easy. I am pleased with our "progress" so far & pray that we continue to work toward a common goal & that God gives us the grace & courage to do whatever must be done to do His will.
Rejection is the best way to find humbleness. And to serve Christ we must be humble. That is why this journey is not about your spouse but about you and your walk with Christ.
As you grow to trust Him with everything in your life and you learn to give up your way for His, you will see a significant change in your spouse.
Maybe I am not understanding how to be humble?
Everytime my husband rejects me or ignores me or is just plain mean, I let it go. I do not let it get to me. Many times I even have to ask God to give me the strength to let it go. I know if I think and rethink these negative reactions it will put me in a bad spot mentally and emotionally and spiritually. But I am human, and it isn't so instananeous sometimes.
I remember every time I get a negative reaction how Chirst must have felt sacraficing himself for us, even though we rejected him so many times. He never gave up on me & I can't give up on my husband either. I feel like I am supposed to be the instrument to bring God's love back into my husband and family. I feel honored that He has chosen me to do so.
God has always been in my life, but I think i thought having him around was enough. I see that just being somewhere in the back of my mind isn't enough. He has to be my first priority- above anything else.
You are being humble.... But Christ must be first, your husband second.
And the rest of your writing is spot on!