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Can this be done when...

Can this be done when...

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  • Sometimes he doesn't say anything and other times he says " I know you are and I am not saying that is wrong"  Yesterday he called me a couple of times to do something for him and I did it with no griping, which is what I used to do because I felt like his secretary when honestly I have more time than he does at work to make calls.  I called him to tell him what I found out and then didn't call him at all.  He worked till almost 9pm and came home....he hurt his lower back so I got the heating pad for him and rubbed BenGay on it and gave him a BenGay patch this morning.  I guess my good thing is he didn't talk to her all day.  I thanked God for that  and prayed that he will have a great time while we are gone.  I also pray for this woman, that she realizes what she is doing is wrong.  God works in mysterious ways.

  • God most certainly does. By the way, you can create your own post. you do not have to keep using this one.

    Anyway, I hope to see you on here when you do start the dare.

  • Dear Mrs. D

    I woke up this morning ready thinking that I can no longer continue with this dare. I am on day 16. Next week (July 24th) will make my 11th year of marriage. I have known my spouse for 21 years. I am truly heart broken with the state of our marriage. I have miscarried 3 times over the years and we do not have any children.  As a result of an argument we had last October and my harsh words. He said that he is fed up with my attitude and thinks that things wont work out. He refuses to go to counselling. He has become bitter and unforgiving towards me. I had surgery recently due to my female problem (and it was successful) and my husband really didnt seem to care about my overall well being. He has picked up with someone else. He comes home "when he feels like it" and doesnt talk to me. I started to see a christian counsellor for support and started doing the dares.  I have prayed for my spouse and continued religiously with the dares after being shot down my him. In my private prayer to God I asked him "what should I do...? and I keep getting the same response..  KEEP TRYING!!  At times, I feel quite foolish because I feel like he really hates me but I get the same response from above KEEP FAITH and trust in me.   My husband keeps telling me that it wont work... I even brought separation papers at the beginning of all of this for him to sign and he refuses. I was totally floored!!  He doesnt think it will work but he wont sign papers to separate!!!   Although God tells me to keep faith ...My biggest fear is that my husbands new "friend" will become pregnant and all of my hopes for a family will never com,e to be.   I will continue to put my faith in God and be the woman and the wife that he intended me to be.

    Anyone who is reading this... it is best to follow the advice at the back of the book by praying with others. It really does help.

  • mrsg99,

    It is a hard thing to do. It is not easy. You are on a journey with Christ. And the sooner you realize that the better things will be. Your spouse is a tool that Christ will use.

    This journey, is to teach you a number of things that will mold you to where God wants you to be. We were born with a strong selfish nature, and when things do not go the way we want our feelings and attitude reflect that.

    But when we are willing to dig into what each and everyone of these dares is teaching us, we become more Christ-like, not only with what we are going through with our spouses, but we become a testimony to Christ each and everyday.

    Our success with this journey in trusting Christ, ends up becoming a conviction to our spouse, but they also need to be willing to accept what Christ has to offer.

    I pray that your journey opens your eyes to what Christ is teaching you and trying to mold you.

  • who has completed the love dare? Were you on the verge of divorce and what was the outcome?

  • I have completed it, a number of times.... There was no doubt I was getting divorced, my wife was in an affair and it was over. Then my sister had me watch Fireproof with her, and when it was over she gave me the Love Dare. We were back together before I completed it.

    After I was done the first time, she wanted what I had (true happiness and the real way to love) and I had her watch the movie and gave her the book. She did it on her own, and when she completed it the first time, we do it together everyday, ever since.

    The real outcome is a love that neither of us has ever been able to  accomplish before.

  • trustinggod -  there are many users on here whose relationships are headed toward divorce, and many who have completed the love dare at least once. just look around at others' postings.

    mrsg - hang in there. commit to the 40 days and embrace this journey with God. you won't regret it.

     

     

    Leslie Holmes

    Community Builder

  • Hi Leslie and Sean,

    I have religiously completing my daily love dare tasks and praying full heartedly. Since the last time I wrote. My husband decided to "go off" for the weekend and did not come back until Monday morning and sneeked into his bed. I got up before work. I prepared his breakfast and placed it in front of his sleepy face. His eyes opened and he said " Hey, what happened? What happened to you?" (the breakfast and other meals that i made are apart of my dares). He said thank you. I did this every single day of the week. He became suspicious. He was puzzled but I kept at it. By the end of the week, he had a very guilty look on his face. I knew what was about to happen. He was on his way out for his "date". He didnt come back that night. I cried very hard and prayed hard and asked the Lord to give me strength and courage. The next day July 24th was our wedding anniversary. He came back around 8 am. I made his favourite corn meal porridge. He had a very shocked look on his face. I went to work Saturday morning. I called to wish him Happy Anniverssary at 2:00pm ( We were married july 24th at 2pm). I got home and he was no where to be found. He went off again. He texted me Happy Anniversary but didnt come home. I felt like my heart was being wretchened out! I spoke with my Christian counsellor who advised me to have a talk with my husband regarding the future of our marriage and if he is willing to work on it. The counsellor said that Obviously something is keeping him from leaving completely or he would have moved out with his "friend" long ago. WAAAAy before I started the love dare.  After my crying and praying. I have decided to continue. I watched Fire Proof again and I review each dare and reflect on it when i am about to pray.

    I was told that God only gives  you as much as  you can bare. I am not sure how big God thinks my shoulders are... but I am prepared to embrace my journey with God and am willing to be shaped and moulded into the woman and the wife he intended me to be.

  • God will only give you what you can handle. But during this journey, remember it is about you and Christ. What are you learning while you are humble. How much of this time can you take to be more like Christ?

    God will work on your husband during this journey. But remember the most important part is what you learn from each thing in this journey. Do your dares and figure out how to be more Christ-like during the most hurtful times. It will do things in your life and your husbands that you could never imagine possible. But the hardest part is trusting Christ 100%. That is your goal.

  • I have noticed a change in my attitude and how I handle situations. I dont "blow up" and quick to react like I used to. My husband has done some very hurtful things and maybe he was expecting me to "attack" but I havent. I am continuing with my dares and I am praying faithfully each and every day.  The only thing is at times I feel very worn out. He used to say Thank you when I started the dares but now its like he is "expecting it" and doesnt say Thanks or give me any acknowledgement.  When I feel like giving up I say a prayer and faithfully continue to put my trust in God.

  • Have no expectations. You are completing these dares for you journey.

  • He questioned me the other day. He wanted to know what "MY PURPOSE"? Why am I behaving the way I am? I didnt answer him. I asked him if he wanted me to stop? He said No. But he was very suspicious of me. Now what?

  • That's his guilty conscience. Do not tell him about the dares, continue on for the 40 days as you have been. You may get other questionable or negative remarks and just keep going.

     

     

    Leslie Holmes

    Community Builder

  • I agree with Leslie. But eventually you will need to be that testimony for Christ by letting him know that the Holy Spirit changed you heart, which changed you to be this better person.

  • Thank you so much for responding. I put many of my questionings and doubt to prayers and I am continuing on.

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