"Today is 6/27/18. The day has gone rather well aside from a few minor bumps in the road. Today I learned to lead my heart and not to follow it. Because of this, I am fully committed to the Love Dare for a minimum for 40 days. I can truly say that negative words did not come out today.

This isn't going to be a quick fix, but I am all in. Lastly, I decided to return the camera back to Amazon. Buying it was a foolish mistake.How could I have been so selfish?

I must admit, negative thoughts did cross my mind, but I chose not to speak them."

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Just a little bit of background on my situation can be found on my profile."Currently I am engaged as of 4/22/18, but the relationship has been shaky and as of 6/25/18, I was told that she is leaving me. We are in a sort of odd space as we are best friends though, so we still talk but her romantic love is gone for me. We currently "live" together, but she has been sleeping at her friends house and just coming back during the day to help with the dogs while I am at work."

The camera I referring to was the most selfish thing I have done recently, I sold off two cameras that worked perfectly fine, just to get the new one that only I wanted. I am going to take the money I get for returning this one and use it to pay some additional bills that we are facing.

I do understand this is a journey between me and Christ, but it is so hard with the one you love ready to walk out the door. That cloud looming overhead is a tough obstacle.

Another struggle I face is if I should be talking to her all the time. Her outlook on us is not positive but her demeanor towards me is still positive.