Collaborate without boundaries

Re: Unsure


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  • Im hoping for the best for tomorrow night's service, which is that he be saved, but I have also learned to brace myself for the worst, which would be him changing his mind and not coming at all. Todays dare was easy. I have never been one to fight dirty anyhow. So writing down some rules of engagement for myself was simple. Oh and my husband decide to take me out on a date tonight. We haven't dome that in a while.  He took me to dinner, fhen a nice walk through the park, where we ended up sitting on a bench swing for a while, and then we went for some ice cream.  It was unexpected,  I had just planned on making dinner and going to bed. I think he wants to make our marriage better. And even if this was a one time thing, it's something I can cherish.

  • just make sure you're not having negative expectations, such as he won't go to service or this is a one time thing.  Love believes the best in our spouses.

    Remember you're on a journey with Christ, and your husband isn't at the same place as you are on his journey.  So keep growing in Christ as your husband starts or continues his journey and one day hopefully he will catch up to you.  

    I hope things are turning around quickly for you both.  Most people see things get worse, before it get s better.  If things continue to get better, do not stop the dares or fall back to old patterns or take things for granted.  Remember the dares are a journey to bring you closer to Christ and for you to build a testimony for your husband and others as well.  

    I am glad you had a good time with him.  

  • Thank you. I'm super excited for tonight, but then again I am always excited to go to church. It's definitely one of the highlights in my midweek and end of the week. But him coming with is an added bonus and makes today's dare all the more easy, because I don't think I would have been able to give up church to spend time with him. It would have been a conflict of interest for sure. So even if this is a one time thing, which i pray that it isn't. Maybe it's just God's way of opening the door to be able to do this dare without compromising and putting God on the back burner. Either way very excited, my husband will be home in just a couple hours and i'll have plenty of time to get dolled up!

    I really hope in continues to get better. But if it goes sour again or it's just not working the way I feel it should. Or if I don't feel like things are getting better fast enough. I am going to do my very best to wait on the Lord. I'm in the word everyday and I pray several times a day. I don't really see how e;se to get through some of my days. It's funny, because I don't know how I made it through my days before I was saved. And as I have mentioned prior to this, I've gone through some pretty heavy stuff. I see now that it was all God's grace. And if He was willing to save me from the child abuse i went through and everything else. Than I know now that I'm saved that He will make my marriage whole again. And that's really all I want in my life right now, I mean I wouldn't say my life is perfect, But God has blessed me in so many ways I can't even begin to go into all of it. I thank God for what He's blessed me with and I rememeber that it's all his, even my friends. Sorry I just realized I was rambling again. I tend to do that sometimes. Well i will be off now.

  • He went down to the alter and accept Christ tonight!! Was going to do that it all caps but fingured I had better not. I am very excited!

  • Praise God!  Keep the Lord above your husband and your life will be great.  Continue to let Christ's light shine through you and allow your husband to see Christ in you.  With the extreme hardships you went through, Christ can use those situations for the good in your life right now.  You may or may not ever understand how, but God will turn everything over for the good for those that love Him.  Don't worry about rambling.  I am the king of rambling on when I write.  Be patient with your husband, he may not really understand completely what he did last night, and is not at the same point in the journey as you are, so give him lots of time to catch up to you.  

  • I know I still need to have patience. I realized that as I was falling asleep last night. I cannot expect him to be the man of God and amazing husband that I hope he will become overnight. So I prayed for him last night. I prayed God would protect him spiritually from enemies that would try and steal his faith away or discourage him. I know he and I still have a long way to go, but at least now we are fighting on the same side spiritually. I definitely desire for him to become the spiritual leader in our home, to lead me. But I've been saved for a year, while he has been saved about 13 hours now.So I know I really can't expect anything. And I can't force him yo change. But I can continue to pray for him. I'm sure the enemy is going to do everything he can to attack my husband now. I actually encouraged my husband to get to know the guys of my church, they are all men of God through and through. I know God can use them to support him in growing in Chirst in a different way than I would as his wife.

  • Continue to grow in patience, kindness, and love.  Building your testimony for your husband and others.  Do not become anxious if he doesn't progress the way you want or in the time frame you want or even backslides in his growth.  Many people act like a yo-yo in the beginning of all these changes he will go through.  Don't overwhelm him in this area of growth.  

    If you feel comfortable or figure out how to journal on this site, I would consider doing so.  You will get more replies from others  that can help you much more.  But by all means, do what you feel comfortable with.

    As I know you are, praise God for all that's happened.  And continue praying with a pure heart for your husband, as well as wisdom and guidance for yourself.

  • Also, focus on your growth right now. The is a reason Christ chose you for this journey, and that testimony to your husband can be big.

  • The last two nights my husband has slept closer to me, we have a king size bed and we never sleep in the middle. The past two nights he has strayed from his own side and nestle close to me. Oh gosh, I almost feel like tearing up. It's something so small, but I like this change in him, it gives me even more hope in us becoming the couple God intenteds on us becoming. I have to admit I'm changing too. I thought I was the victim in this marriage, but if he had pull something like that a couple months ago, I probably would have been annoyed that he was in my personal space. So I guess I am the one that needs to be doing this dare. I had hardened my heart toward my husband because I didn't want him to hurt me anymore and in doing so, it's probably the reason he has become so distance.  That's a pretty big pill to swallow.

  • Okay thought this was note worthy, my husband is bring me food from my favorite place, even though he doesnt care for it himself.

  • Praise God for the changes in both of you.  Many times it is us that caused a lot of the hurt in the marriage and we are so hardened and selfish, that we didn't see the changes we needed to make until our spouses became hardened themselves.  It is a humbling experience when we realize what we've done. Thank God for the wisdom you had in understanding this.  And pray for His wisdom so you know how to do His will.

    As he is changing, don't have expectations of him.  he may be a little frightened to open up completely.  And I hope this isn't the case for you, but don't be shocked if he  suddenly reverts back to the way it was for a little while.  Keep the journey going!

  • Be still, even with things changing so slightly, stay on the path with Christ and grow in Him daily. Find out how Christ wants you to love as He loves you. Taking it day by day and leading your heart is a great experience, and that is where dare one is so important.

  • I have done this two gave up and starting again just remember to pray as well its hard I know that im seprated and this is hard I gave my self to god I forgive him and I pray for mine husband two where hopefully going to talk to the pastor

  • If you are back on the dare, then start posting daily on the journal section. Many there for guidance and will help keep you going.

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