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Re: Unsure


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  • Tim has been giving great advice. And your journey is moving forward. Being still in Christ is essential to focus on Him and allow His will to be done.

  • I do not have the book. Was not even planning on getting it. But I understand the importance of leading my heart. I dont want to see my marriage fail. My husband's birthday is the week. So it is a good opportunity for me to show him how much I still care.And I did end up having a couple of things to write down. Like how he has the ability to be sweet sometimes. I havent yet figured out how to write in the journal section. But I will get it. Eventually.

  • I have yet to journal so not sure how.  I really recommend finding a copy of the book.  It really helped me out more than just reading what the dare of day was.  And it doesn't take but a few minutes each day to read.  This book may help you out more than any other book, other than the bible.  And for right now, it may even help you out more than the bible.  It may give you new appreciation for the bible, like it did for me.

  • I'm a big reader, so if I got the book I would probably read it all in one day. but I'll check it out anyway. Anything that could help is really good. The next seven weeks from me are a transitional phase because I'm going to be starting a new job in april and have a lot to do to prepare, so I'm trying to find balance for my marriage. I've already found God's place in my life, and He's not moving thankfully. And I'm thankful He's blessing my life. I just hope I'll eventually see some fruit in my marriage as well. I've been praying for his salvation, and for Jesus to heal our marriage. But so far, well you know.

  • When you get the book, just read up through till you are done with the dare for day one, and the appendix.  And only read the dare for the day.  Do not read ahead, it will lessen the impact of what you are to gain from doing that day's dare.

    Many here will say for now just pray for God's will to be done in his life and also for his salvation, as you said.  Much else we pray for our spouse ends up being for selfish reasons to benefit us.  And there is nothing better for us or our spouses than to have God's will in our lives.  

    The transitional stage you are going through may be a very good time to do the dares.  With less time, you may have to depend more on Christ's help through prayer to accomplish a few dares.  Keep growing closer to Him, and depend more and more on Him in this journey.  

  • Tim is spot on. And no matter how much you want to read ahead, Think if God saying to you Be Still... For I am God.

  • I haven't had a chance to come on and I kinda even put the dares, on hold. there's just been too much choas. And i see that's no excuse. Had every intention of starting again today where i left off today it came to a head..I haven't done anything to provoke him, but he's taking the stress of his job out on me and today it came to a head. I'm just so tired of being walked on. I am trying to go out of my way to be extra nice to him. But i mean honestly, no one else dares to treat me like this. I'm sick of being beat up emotionally. My heart isn't a ragdoll. It took everything inside me not to tell him it was over before he left for work.

  • so I just read day 11, I had to think about this one for a second, not because I don't feel like doing it. But because I already do all the cooking and cleaning, on top of working. But I usually don't make the shopping trips yet because I just barely got my driver's license. My husband has the car. So for this dare I'm going to walk to the store and get his favorite dinner to cook tonight, spaghetti. I'm still hurt, but if I refuse to move forward now... well i know myself well enough to know that'll I wont finish this if I don't push through this.

  • I know this hurts.   But think of all the times you walked all over Christ.   You treated His heart like a rag doll.   And Christ continues to love you unconditionally.  You made a covenant with God and your husband to love him unconditionally.  As Christ loved through His pain in the crucifiction you need to choose to love even when it is undeserved.  Your love is shown the most when in pain.  Look for Christs comfort.   Leave everything in His hands.   Be still and know that He is God.  He knows ever hair on your head.   Put Him first above all else.   Don't give up on the dares.  You will be greatful you stayed with them at some point if you do the dares as they are intended to be done.  Don't give up on this journey of coming closer to Christ.   You can do this.   You may know yourself.   But I don't think you really know what Christ can accomplish through you if you let Him in these dares.   Just a day at a time.  Even just moment by moment you can choose to love.

  • I just got back from the store, in that time my husband and i were texting and he even said he knows I've seen him at his worst lately. And that I deserve his best. He asked me to just be patient with him. Not what I expected to read from him. I simply told him I'm here for him. I mean what else could i say to that. I'm being as faithful to God as I can. And my life is bearing fruit everywhere. It just seems that the fruit at home has a lot more thorns than fruit. But my husband and I have been through a lot worse. Hey I've been through a lot worse trials than this. If God never gives us more than we can handle, then he must have thought I could handle a whole lot growing up. And now as an adult, the blessings in my life overflow constantly, especially in the past year since i got saved.I'm sorry I don't mean to ramble.I love my husband. And I do forgive him. I see that he's going through a battle right now at work, but even more importantly there is a battle raging for his soul. He needs me to be a rock. Lord knows he was mine a few years ago.

  • Yes be patient.   And if things get worse remember to seek His comfort and be still.   Rejoice in Him that your husband sees that he's not giving you his best. But don't have expectations of your husband making the changes right now you desire. Pray for Christ's will to be done in your life as well as his.  

  • I'm glad he does see it though. As i said before, that was unexpected. But it's also a spark of hope. I honestly thought I was a patient person before God saved me, certainly more than others. I know the only way through this is with lots of prays and holding my tongue, Lord knows I'm stubborn and very passionate. Which happens to be one reason my husband fell for me. But it's also making it hard to be patient. All things aside though, I'm happy to see light at the in such a dark tunnel. Even if it's just a candle.

  • If your journey follows the pattern of most people, things can get worse before it gets better.  But this will help you seek comfort in Christ first, before you find comfort in your husband, to ensure you hold Christ first.  As much as we all want our marriages reconcilled quickly, it is in God's timing.  Wth your patience, build your testimony, showing love, patience, kindness.  Don't worry if your husband reacts negatively at you build your testimony.  

  • He wants to come with me to church next service! I was barely able to contain my excitement when he said that. I realize this might not be much. But still its something! That was his reaction to day 12 today. He has no idea that I am doing the love dare. I have not told him. But either way, I am excited.

  • Very happy he is going to church.  If he turns cold and doesn't go, do not fret, and if he goes, don't put your focus on what did he get out of the service.  Put him in Christ's hands.  Keep doing the dares without telling him you are.  If you tell him, he may think you are just following a program, not being genuine.  If he wonders, you can say something like you are on a journey of becoming closer to Christ.  Continue praying for him in an unselfish way, for God's will to be done in his life.  As everything I say, these things are my opinion.

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