My husband and I have not even been married for a year, and I already feel as though our marriage is crumbling. We've been together for 7 years and have a two year old daughter. We didn't get married until after we had our daughter, and I feel like that might be one of the main reasons we got married so fast. In heated discussions, he has also mentioned that he thinks we should not have gotten married so soon after our daughter was born. We were given The Love Dare as a gift from a group of friends who have been married for almost twenty years. They are just as happy now as they were back then. I read through the book, and watched the movie numerous times, but when it actually came to trying the dare, I always seem to fall short. I have tried this book at least 4 times, all of which I haven't finished. I have recently re-accepted Christ into my life, and I know that I need to put my trust in him to make this journey work, but I continue to feel resistance from my husband. He says he wants our marriage to work, but I feel like I am the only person willing to go the extra mile to make it work.
Example: After discussing my marriage issues with a friend at church, she encouraged me to truthfully and whole heartedly try The Love Dare again. Day 1 was difficult as I am not normally a patient person, and I like to speak my mind but I made it through it. Day 2 went about the same as Day 1 but by Day 3, my husband knew what I was doing, and actually asked if I thought I could actually make it through the whole thing "this time"!!! I felt like he just stabbed my in the chest.
So I guess my question is this, after 4 failed attempts, is it worth it to try a fifth time??? I feel like I'm continuing on the same path, hoping for different results, and I keep getting the same thing.
First. You have never trusted Christ enough to allow Him to handle the situation. You quit.
This dare journey is one between you and Christ, not you and your husband. You husband is a tool in the journey. One that Christ will use to humble you, to reject you and more. But He will also use your husband to show you what Gods intention of love is to be. Not what the world has taught you it to be.
Each time you have quit the dare you quit on Christ. And maybe because you did it to just save your marriage and did not open up to see the true meaning and journey.
And I am sure each time you quit, the situation has gotten worse to the point of trying it again. So praise God... He is patient. He is waiting for you. He will show you your relationship with Him through your husband.
As for your husband knowing what you are doing. Dont worry about it. Just do your dares as they are intended and written. Dont manipulate them. The success of the dares are to trust Christ to do them as they are written. At time you may feel that if I do this it will make it worse or I will be rejected. Doesnt matter.... Trust that Christ has your best interest in mind, which He does.
So, your question was. after 4 failed attempts, is it worth it to try a fifth time? honestly. If you are using this as a self help or a marriage help, then you are correct when you say - I feel like I'm continuing on the same path, hoping for different results, and I keep getting the same thing. In fact that is the definition of insane.... But, if you take this dare and take the journey with Christ.... Trusting Him, and building your relationship with Him, then you will not get the same results.
Your friends who gave you the dare. Look at them.
And we are here everyday.