Think about your journey with Christ. With all the rejection, and everything else we have done against Him, He still forgave us, He still loved us, He still fills us with His love. And you should do the same. If you have not watched the movie Fireproof, I would recommend it and watch it alone with NO interruptions.
If you are really tired of the hurts and pains, then follow the dare. Live your journey with Christ, Trust Him.... He will fill every void in your life. And at the same time, let Christ work on him.
If you are following the dares, there will be a time when forgiveness comes in. But there are more important lessons that you need to understand to get to that point. If you have gotten to that day and still cannot forgive, you have missed somethings. Start again, this time with a heart knowing that this is a journey with you and Christ. Not you and your husband. Your husband is just a tool that Christ uses.
And by the way, I am sorry I missed this post. I was traveling cross country, and tried to stay up to date with the posts.
Do not give up or you will miss all the blessings that He has in store for you. I just finished the whole book and kept my promise to take it a day at a time. I can honestly say I'd grown so much through this process and learned what His unconditional love is. He used my wife to teach me those lessons. Don't put your husband first, put HIM first, then you won't feel this way. Each day does get harder but it is His way to mold us through this journey.
There are signs that my wife is starting to question her decision to leave this marriage and thinking about God again. He will use you to be a testimony to your husband but only when you totally surrender and submit to Him. I don't know what tomorrow will bring but I know He has a plan for me and for her, and His plan is perfect. He has a plan for you and your husband too. I'm starting over again ... Day#41
Here's a video from Fireproof that had provided encouragement for me to persevere when my wife kept spatting on my face over and over again. Remember that Christ went through the same on the cross and He kept on loving those who persecuted Him. You need to be a testimony for him by persevering.
James, a journey worth continuing!
Hi James and Sean,
Am back :) was so busy with work lately...I have been thinking of starting the dare again...but as usual is so afraid of rejection... Oh by the way we just had our 1st year wedding anniversary last Sunday (it was not a "happy" anniversary) :) ..
I thank God that lately my anger was tamed, whatever angle or reasons I have it just boils down to the fact that my love for my husband is unconditional or am i just blinded with my love for him. No signs of repentance from him not even a sorry still he is blaming me...but since I am the one who understand the situation I choose to be loving than to be right...As of now we talk..but he is so cautious to the point that I feel I am talking to a total stranger. But it's okay I have realize that it wont make me less than of a person if i still show him love...even if I look stupid ..even if he is pushing me away. I don't know what is happening to me that my tolerance is way far from normal or I am just numb. :)
I have decided to do this coz I feel that everybody is turning their backs on me...nobody wants to listen and everybody is judging our case...that we are hopeless and i should work on our annulment...:(
Anyway, Please pray for me and for us I will start my dare tomorrow :)
Don't be afraid of rejection. Consider it a blessing. It is the only thing that will humble you to the point of understanding what Christ went through and how much He loves us. He wants to mold you to be more like Him, and the only way to do that is teach you in ways that you will need to be understanding.
Make sure you read the appendix not only the prayer outlines but also the part about leading your heart. Because when you lead your heart there is no such thing as looking stupid...
And as for who is to blame. No one. Christ allowed you to think that you can control your life your way to be able to have you humble yourself enough to come to Him.
Hi Terranova, glad to see you back! I just said a quick prayer for you.
Rejections will happen and they will be frequent at the beginning. He allowed our spouse to do this so we can learn His lessons - to fully trust Him. I can honestly say that my attitude/reaction towards rejection has changed to be more positive than 2 months ago. I'm not sure but this may be part of His plan, but my wife's rejections have significantly died down and she has initiated a dinner with me this weekend (it's a rare occasion since we've been living apart for 3 months now).
Try to come back to this forum daily. I received a lot of support from the community as I walked this journey with Christ. You won't regret it. He wants to change our lives but we also have to let Him. I was blind and now starting to see...
I am so glad your wife is now slowly opening her heart. Am so happy for you both :) --hugs--
Yes James I think I have to take the dare or else I will miss half of my life, I have realized just today that I am still controlled by my fears which leads me to being so unhappy..everyday.......And I must admit I have not fully trusted Him. I always say I surrender but it's always half baked. Indeed now it's clear to me that this will be my journey with Him. I will give it a shot..............FULL BLOWN this time :) with a humble heart...
Thank you for all your prayers.....:) and please continue praying for me...
DAY 1 - August 12, 2010
Thanks for the encouragement Jane. Will see what happens, it's in God's hands. Both of us is in His hands actually.
It's totally okay to have emotions, including negative ones like fear, sadness, anger, etc. That's what makes us human. But we have the choice to control them and not let them "drive us". Don't be "enslaved" by them but put them in the back seat. Like Sean said, read the appendix on leading your heart, it really helped me. The world says (and the world is likely influencing your husband too, it certainly did to my wife) "follow your heart" but Bible teaches us that our heart is the most deceitful above all things.
Stay strong in Him and will keep praying for you. Go Jane you can do it!
Thanks James and Sean
I only have this website as my resource. I will check local bookstore if they have one...
So far am successful with Day 1 :)
Jane, you can get the dare at walmart or any other store.
Jane, you can download a sample of the first 5 chapters right on this site.
but please get the book once you get a chance. I wish I can hand deliver a copy to you. Believe or not, my wife was the one who bought the copy I'm reading now. She even bought multiple copies to give to friends and we tried to go through it together but we got lazy. Looking back, He put the book in our hands and we rejected Him.
Thanks for the tip, I just checked in our local bookstore but it's not available. By the way am from the Philippines.
Yes I will get a copy even an ebook will do but I will really get a hardcopy. I will find a way :). Will ask from friends in the US if they can send me one. I know God will provide.
I am successful today for Day 1 :)
I think I am getting the purpose of the dare......truly it's for me to change not my husband and to be closer to Him.
Looking forward...please continue praying for me and us
James, am so happy for you
Sean, thank you so much for the encouragement and continued support....
James, Got the first 5 chapters...thank you so much!
And as you allow Christ to mold you, your husband will as well. It may get worse before it gets better, but there is a purpose for that.
Hi Sean and James,
Just got lucky :) bought a copy of the book online today and it will be delivered tom ..
Will keep you posted