These are all things that have come with believing in the worlds beliefs. And where has it gotten you? Look where you are. You are not God and there is nothing you can control.
And if you want to be selfish then remember you and your spouse are to be one. So anything you do for them to make your marriage better, to make your life better, only reflects on them as well in return effects you.
Thank you Sean. I understand what you are saying. I am grateful to have found this site and this forum to share my fears and welcome your wisdom. Day 3 and Day 4 are complete. I have not seen changes in my marriage specifically but I do feel changes in me. Ironically I met with an old boss this morning who prompted an "ah ha" moment culminating what I have been learning so far. I have now seen a negative behavior I had in the past (I am not naive enough to think it was only with those co-workers) that I welcomed with open arms learning about (rather than being hurt and upset) because now I can begin to loose that behavior and become a better person. I can already, even at Dare 4, feel my shoulders and heart (and my mind!!) getting lighter. On to Dare 5, I am anxious and also excited to have this conversation because it will give me more tools to work with to become better.
You will not see changes in your marriage any time soon. It will take a couple weeks. At first your spouse will not notice anything (make sure you do not tell what you are doing). Then when the realization does come there are changes, it is a watch and see moment.
But then it is believed to be a fake.... a wishful thing. It takes a little while to be understood. But your testimony is what will get you thre.
FAILING AT COMPLETING DARES
I am writing in lower case letters because I feel rather low and a bit ashamed.
I havent carried out my dares at all. my husbands birthday was on april 27. i was supposed to call him that day but during the week he did a few things that made me upset and it brought back ill feelings that I just shut down. I confessed these feelilngs of guilt and prayed for him instead. i pray for him on a regular basis but i dedicated a prayer day for him.
i do not know why I keep suffering from these failures???? Iilearned yesterday it could possibly be False Guilt that i am feeling even though I released it long ago. It is the trick of the devil that keeps on telling me how much of a horrible wife and that my husband never wanted to be with me anyway. He was looking for something else and settled with you.". Through prayer I have learned that I must TRUST CHRIST to forgive me and carry me through these times.
You are not leaving the concerns with Christ. Your husband id something that upset you and thats it.
You need to leave those things with Christ, and move forward. Step up, do your dares. And remember the dares are between you and Christ, not you and your husband, so his actions should have nothing to do with you moving forward with them.
Day 41, today I started the dares over. Love is patient really resonates. He did not like dare 39 and it set him off on a tangent. Today, day 4, my husband packed up more stuff and left a note telling me to stop contacting him in anyway other than to discuss the kids. God told m last time to be still and to give him space. I thought I was until the note today which made me realize that while attempting to complete the dares, I forgot to lesiten to God and do nothing. I took over again and things blew up in my face. this time around I have to really focus less on completing the tasks in my time. I engraved a clock to give to my father in law for graduating. I wrote In God's time. I also have had this spoken to me or I've read it somewhere a few times in the past few days. Funny that I was so fcused on listening to God and finishing my dares, that I actually forgot to "listen to God." I had to have a difficult conversation today with my husband concerning the kids, he is getting aggressive towards them and I need to enforce boundries. I watched my words and remained as patient and respectful as possible. God is telling me to do a few things that I don't understand right now. I will be starting to seperate our lives and I will give him space. I have seen a few glimmers of hope and there have been a few instances that made me smile, knowing they were from God. Today's reaction stems from the last 40 days and the work god has done in me. However, I know there is more work to be done in me and I finally think I am ready to accept the changes God is making in my life. I really can't see how I can complete the dares this time around so I will be taking this one day at a time with God leading me the whole way and I will do the dares in God's time with Him guidig me through them. thanks Sean for your support. i think I will need more checks and balances this time around. When I figure out how to journal, I will start my own.
In this journey with Christ. You must be open for Christ to mold you in His image. With that said, take each dare literally. Do each dare as it is stated. Nothing more, nothing less. And leave the communication at that. Unless of course there is something with the kids.
Do not worry about his responses or reactions to the dares. Doing them is trusting Christ, that is where the success of the dares are. His responses or reactions are more of a tool. Some may humble you, some may not. The important thing is that you trust Christ to do them His way, not yours.
As for the journals. go to the love dare journal section and on the right side click post. But I would advise you write them in a word doc or something, because it may time out on you. And if it does, it will erase everything.
Did it work? How are things now. And how do u start your own thread on here
It works if you take it seriously and learn from what it says. If you want to post on each dare in this section you click on what day you want to post and on the top right it has a button that says new post
Its been quite a long time. I hope everyone is experiencing Gods blessings on this wonderful Sunday.
Guys I have a big confession to make. I have not been doing my dares since I was last on here. I have been battling temptation and playing tug of war with my emotions and faith. I have moved work locations and since doing so I started to feel a real loss and resentment for things that have taken place in my life. I started to feel empty and if I was missing out. I started to pray about it and gained some confidence and I stated to get utility bills from another municipality in my husbands name. It was an over due hydro bill. Its not from where my husband is currently living . Something told me not to open the bill. just to leave it alone. I thought maybe he bought a house with that Ferret ? I started to pray about it and my hubsnad called about a week later. I had my guard up. I didnt want to talk to him. I asked him why he was calling? He said no reason. He wanted to say Hi and blah blah blah since I DONT CALL HIM. I got a little upset and told him that its kind of difficult with the Feret guarding your phone and hanging up on me. My husband still doesnt understand why I dont want to have a tenant and doesnt understand why I want to save my marriage. He thinks that I am wasting my time and that I should move on. It took a lot for me not to shout at him. He said that I make him feel guilty for all the things that I have done for him. I didnt want to give him any more opprotunity to say anything and got off the phone. I started to feel real bad and a friend of mind oprayed with me and said not to give up. I also wondered what Gods will for me in life is because since I last wrote on here 2 men have expressed interest in me. I prayed that they will lose interest and 1 has .. the other not as of yet. I caught myself thinking maybe meeting this man is about of Gods will. My friend said that I am being tested and that I must return to being faithful to the Lord. Once my mind cleared. something told me that this will be a good opportunity to start my dares . I also watched a seromn with Dr Charles Stanley about Missed opportunites and God always gives his children an opportunity for a period of time. Dont miss out on it.
I do not think that was what Charles stanley was talking about... Especially if you are not divorced.
Then what was he talking about? I am not divorced and hope that I can salvage my marriage but I have been separated from my husband for almost 3 years. I heard Dr Stanley talk about Divorce and he said that if a person leaves you or divorces you there is nothing you can do about it. His wife separated from him for 12 years. He prayed about it and then she filed for divorce and married someone else!
If you are still married and still wanting to save your marriage then the other men are not opportunity.
If you divorce and then they are there maybe. But not while you are seeking reconciliation. And especially not while you are still married.
I am new to this site. I am wondering if anyone could help me?? Will the Love Dare work if we are not married and he recently moved out and he called off the relationship?? We have two children together and had been together for over 7 years and engaged for over 6 years. He says he does not love me and does not want our relationship. I feel like he has already moved on and has no desire for us to be a family. We are both Christians and fell away from the Lord for a long time. I have recently found my way back and go to church every Sunday with our children. I have been praying day and night and in between, I love this man and want to spend the rest of my life with him. Any advice or scriptures would be greatly appreciated.
It always works when you look at it as it is intended. A journey with Christ to teach you unconditional love and learning to lead your heart in everything, take a moment to read in the appendix about leading the heart.